Waiting too long?

First, there was pharmacy school. Benayah knew by the time she was fourteen, there was no other career she wanted. Years of education did not stand in her way. Determination motivated her long hours of study.

By the time she finished school and started looking for just the right job, her awareness of life started to tilt. All of her close friends were married. Her two younger sisters already had children. She had an empty apartment. Had all her devotion to her career caused her to miss a family life?

With her eyes open to a potential life partner, her focus from work to social interests kept her busy. Year by year, she would celebrate a birthday with the wish that by the next birthday, there would be a special someone in her life. And then the next birthday came, without anyone in sight. Then it was a year later, and so her life continued, alone.

Then, Joel walked into the pharmacy. Benayah found herself unable to hear his question. Words stumbled out of her mouth. To this day she cannot recall their first conversation. But she will never forget his eyes. Or his height. Or, . . .well, you get the picture.

Finally, on her thirty second birthday, she spent time making wedding plans. No presents necessary, this birthday was the happiest she had ever know.

However, did waiting mean it would be more challenging to have a family? Not too many months after their wedding, Benayah literally jumped for joy. By thirty five, she would be a mom. She had everything she had always wanted.

Then only two weeks later, a miscarriage sank her heart. “It’s not too late to try again.” However, she the second time a miscarriage started, she recognized the physical symptoms. Emotionally, the disappointment flooded her. Joel could hardly offer adequate comfort.

Now what? Benayah was torn between feeling secure in the decision to have a career first. Regret knocked at her emotional door almost everyday. If only she had not chosen to delay having a family, she would already be holding her own son or daughter in her arms by now. Tears could not be stopped.

She looked at her empty arms, with new dreams for their family she sighed to Joel, “I want to adopt. I’m ready.”

Joel, “I was just waiting for you to tell me you’re ready, too.”

What happens next? “Higgins Valley Moments” reports the details of the journey Benayah, Joel, and their attempted family endure.

When the heart wishes for what life cannot bring.

The Middle Child: Unanticipated Adjustments

Gretchen and Jere were sure they wanted a second child as soon as they adopted their daughter, Danielle. They faced the reality of how long the process would take. So, they started the paper work for child two right away.

When their agency suggested Eastern Europe as a possibility this time, they did not even hesitate. This child would most likely not be an infant. But they envisioned children in orphanages. Longing to provide arms of care and comfort for just one of them, age did not matter.

When Timothy arrived, the adjustment challenge stared directly at them. At three years old, they assumed he could speak. However, they were anticipating language barriers. Trying to look him eye to eye was the first obstacle in communicating. Timothy had never received the type of attention that his new parents were offering. They eventually discovered he had never spoken any language.

Counseling offered guidance to help the new family adjust to realistic expectations. After years of offering their comfort to their son, progress became visible. By the time he was twenty, his emotional status graduated to functional. Most of the time.

Then there were times that presented new obstacles. How do you handle a young adult man who does not comprehend his own emotional needs?

The neighbors in Higgins Valley cherished what this family needed.

Families need each other, sometimes more than they want to admit.